As the Prayer Team Coordinator at the ReFrame Prayer Ministry, I receive many questions people feel they can’t ask their own pastors. One particular question is: Does God listen to me when I complain? Is it okay to complain to God? Some of these big questions we have about prayer have easy answers, while others do not. Sometimes the Bible provides clarity on our questions, but often we are left to embrace the mystery of our faith. In this case, we can find many examples that not only tell us it is okay to complain, but encourage us to bring our complaints to God.

Basement troubles

Recently, I found myself in a situation where all I wanted to do was complain, and wondered how I would pray. Where I live in the Midwest, we experienced unseasonably warm mid-winter weather with rain coming down after several inches of snow. The combination of snowmelt and rain created perfect conditions for lots of water to seep into our finished basement. Water crept into every corner, saturating the flooring and warping the wood paneling. It was a soggy mess.

After the initial shock wore off and we dried up the water, we still had a major task ahead of us. We had to cut into the foundation floor, add new drainage, and replace all the flooring. Cleaning and fixing up our basement was an overwhelming and expensive hassle, and all I wanted to do was complain. Yet, somehow in the midst of the frustration and inconvenience, we eventually remembered how blessed we were: we still had a safe place to call home, and very few important items were destroyed.

As we dug into the job, money worries mingled with the guilt of feeling like I shouldn't complain, especially when I knew other people had much worse circumstances than I did. I found myself wondering: “Can I bring my frustrations and fears to God, even when I know others are facing far worse?”

Complaining in the Bible

The Bible has many places where we can read about prayers of complaint: the prophet Jeremiah (Jeremiah 12:1-3, Jeremiah 20:7-8) was called “the Weeping Prophet.” In the familiar story of Job, a righteous man who lost everything and then dealt with insensitive platitudes from his friends, Job gives voice to a long list of complaints in Job 10 and again in Job 23. Both Jeremiah and Job seem to pray: Why, God? I don't like this! This hurts! Make it stop! Where are you?

The Psalms are simply stuffed with complaints. Here are just a few examples:

How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me? Psalm 13:1-2

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why are you so far from saving me,
so far from my cries of anguish?
My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer,
by night, but I find no rest. Psalm 22:1-2

I say to God my Rock,
'Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?'
My bones suffer mortal agony
as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
'Where is your God?' Psalm 42:9-10

Throughout Scripture, these complaining prayers are known as prayers of lament. These prayers give us the framework to cry out our frustrations and complaints to God, knowing that he listens and hears us. Even Jesus acknowledged the value of lament; Jesus himself said: “Blessed are those who mourn” (Mathew 5:4).

The Suffering Servant

In their book Praying, theologians J.I. Packer and Carolyn Nystrom offer this great wisdom:

Suffering—meaning strain and pain, physical, mental, and spiritual—is part of God’s universal nurturing discipline, and his usual answer to complaint prayers about it is not to remove it but to teach us how to handle it (p. 201).

Packer and Nystrom suggest two ways to think about how God responds when we complain or lament. First, they remind us that suffering is one of the ways God shapes and molds us into who he designed us to be. Second, they suggest we look at how God supports us when we feel weak so we can press on even when we are in pain.

No one’s path is perfect and easy all the time. We have pain, hardships, challenges, and misery—it’s all part of our journey with Christ, who knew sorrow and suffering (Isaiah 53:3). At times, the only way to manage the pain and frustration is to lay it all out before God as a complaint. Often, when we complain, we’re reminded how small and fragile we are compared to God’s vast love and his perfect wisdom.

God is listening

So, does God listen when we complain? Yes! And he is not offended. We know that he always listens with attentive care (Psalm 143:1). In these moments, we learn to trust in his perfect plan for our lives, even when the challenges seem overwhelming. We are part of God’s family and can rest on this promise: our pain and hardship won't last forever.

As you complain and lament, may you also have the courage to notice God’s goodness amid the loss. When we rest in the assurance of God's love—especially when we share complaints, vulnerability, and raw honesty—it can strengthen our faith and lead to deeper trust and understanding. We are invited into a deeper relationship with the One who listens, understands, and never leaves us on our journey of faith. I have found that the more I look for God’s faithfulness, the easier it is to find it.

Grace and Complaining

As I mopped up the water in my basement and lugged load-after-load of soggy flooring out to the dumpster, my eyes were wet with tears. So what did I do? I complained and prayed. I had moments where I was reminded of God’s grace and faithfulness: God loves me and will see me through this, and I am his precious child!

Nothing will change that, not even when I complain.

For more resources on this topic, check out this article from our sister ministry Family Fire, this podcast episode from our sister ministry Groundwork, and this audio Bible story from our sister ministry Kids Corner.