If you have ever sat in a doctor’s office receiving discouraging news, or if you have endured a long season of unrelenting, debilitating pain that saps your strength and joy, then you know how hard it can be to pray at times. For some years now, I have been dealing with a deteriorating spine and an incurable autoimmune disease that causes me to bleed internally and become extremely weak because of loss of blood. In addition, I have recently been diagnosed with kidney disease.

When Pain Makes Prayer Hard

Each diagnosis brought with it questions and concerns about how the future would look, feelings of vulnerability, and a deep sadness I didn’t know how to explain. I discovered my illnesses prevented me from participating in activities I loved. Whenever I had to decline an invitation because of my physical limitations, I felt isolated and lonely. I wondered if anyone could understand what it was like to be so weak to not have the energy to even turn over in bed. But the most difficult times came when the ongoing pain and weakness left me so depleted I felt spiritually numb.

But I didn’t give up trying to pray, and I have learned that prayer is precisely what I needed to overcome feelings of being overwhelmed, alone, and hopeless. These medical problems have reshaped my life dictating what I can and cannot physically do. I can’t walk long distances, use stairs, or stand for long periods. This realization of my limitations has taught me to humble myself to use a walker and let people carry things for me when I am too weak. I have learned to be content and look for other ways to use my gifts to serve others.

Finding Comfort In God’s Presence

While illness has pushed me to learn contentment and discover new ways to serve, the bigger lesson has been how prayer reminds me of God’s presence through the toughest times. When the pain feels unbearable and the loneliness overwhelms, one important thing to remember about prayer is that it is a safe place to come with all our emotions—even our frustration, anger, questions, and doubts. After months of continual internal bleeding, causing my hemoglobin to continually fall, I was gasping for breath when I tried to walk, getting increasingly weaker, and I came to God in complete exhaustion with tears coursing down my cheeks. I yelled at him, questioned him. I was completely open and honest about what I was feeling. And the amazing truth is, he didn’t push me away… not once has he ever pushed me away or scolded me. Instead, I felt like he was holding me on his lap with his loving arms drawing me close to his chest like a father would comfort his precious little child, and I was free to pour out my heart. His love is so great our finite minds cannot comprehend it. He promises us in Romans 8:38-39 that there is nothing—absolutely nothing—that can separate us from his love for us! So come into his presence in vulnerability and honesty, and find acceptance, safety, and comfort.

Share Your Struggles with God

I don’t know what kind of pain or suffering you are enduring. I have the privilege of living at a retirement home, and I see others who are dealing with greater struggles than I have had to deal with: cancer diagnoses, falls that break bones, aftereffects of a stroke that limit mobility or speech, onset of dementia, and more. If you feel unseen in your suffering as you walk this very difficult road of constant suffering, remember prayer is where you can bring your concerns to someone who totally understands pain and physical suffering. Think about all the physical suffering Jesus went through as he walked toward the cross. While fully God, he was also fully human and experienced physical suffering like none of us will ever endure. He endured emotional suffering as his closest friends abandoned him because they didn’t understand what he was going through. And he knows the ultimate feeling of being alone when God had to turn his back on his Son while Jesus carried our sins. Jesus’ death on the cross makes it possible for ordinary people like us to come into God’s presence. Prayer isn’t about pretending to be strong; it’s about being real with the one who truly understands. He not only understands your pain; he gives you permission to bring every question and every tear honestly before God. So, when you pray, be encouraged and comforted by the truth that you are talking to someone who completely understands pain and suffering.

You Are Not Alone

Another thing that has helped me find hope in the darkest moments, when God seems far away and my strength is gone, is the knowledge that I am not alone. As a follower of Christ, I have the Holy Spirit living in me, and he gives me the strength to do more than I could do on my own. In addition, the Holy Spirit prays for us when we don’t have words ourselves. So, when we don’t have the words to say, we can totally rest in the sure knowledge that if we ask the Holy Spirit to read our heart, he will bring our needs before the Lord. And what is even more reassuring is that, not only does the Holy Spirit pray for us, but the Bible tells us that Jesus himself intercedes for us. Knowing we have two sources of great power (the Holy Spirit and Jesus himself) praying for us, gives me great peace and allows me to totally rest in God’s grace as I walk this road of chronic illness.

Prayers When Words are Hard to Find

Rev. Francis John Scott, in his book, The Light of Life shares a thought that has encouraged me. Some sources attribute the popular version of this quote to him, but it’s really a paraphrase of his words. “Faith and prayer – both are invisible, but they make impossible things happen.” When I am feeling overwhelmed, I find it very helpful to pray Scripture. So, if I were to pray Matthew 11:28, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest,” my prayer might sound like this:

Dear healing God, thank you for calling me to yourself—to the one place where I know I will be loved, accepted, and safe. I am so weary, Lord. This pain is overwhelming me, and I feel too tired to go on. The burdens and concerns I have about my health are too heavy to carry right now. I need your Holy Spirit’s power to endure. I bring all of my anxiety and fears to you and lay them at your feet, and now with empty hands, I am ready to receive your promised rest. Thank you for being with me and strengthening me through this difficult time. In Jesus’ name, Amen!

There are other times when my prayer is simply:

Holy Spirit, I am too weary for words. Please read my heart and bring my needs to God. Amen! 

No matter what you pray, know that God will listen and he will answer in his perfect way and timing. Choose to let go of your fear and anxiety and rest in him.

Do you want to learn more about how to bring your fear and anxiety to God? You might find this resource Praying through Doubt, Worry and Fear helpful.