One evening, as I tucked my young niece into bed, she asked me a simple question that I had never really put much thought into; “Aunty Em, what is prayer”? I paused, realizing how important this moment was for her faith development, and responded: “Prayer is when we share our hearts with God. We share our worries, hopes, fears, thanks, even the things we feel sorry for.” I explained that we can tell God anything, no matter how big or small. Bedtime, in particular, is a good time to pray because we’re already calming our busy minds and resting safely in our beds. We know that God is with us and loves us.

My niece's basic question about prayer got me thinking about my own understanding of prayer and why I do it. Having grown up in a Christian home, I cannot remember the first time I prayed; praying is something I've always done. My parents prayed over me as an infant and taught me to pray before I could even speak. My family prayed before meals, bedtime, church, and even in the car before a long road trip. I never gave much thought to what prayer actually is until that special tuck-in with my niece. So, let’s explore this question together: what is prayer?

What is prayer?

Prayer is a central practice of most religions and faiths; this blog speaks from a Christian biblical perspective. The Bible mentions “pray” or “prayer” in hundreds of verses. In hundreds more verses, the Bible recounts the conversations with God of people like Moses, Daniel, the psalmists, the prophets, and of course, Jesus and the apostles without mentioning the words “pray” or “prayer” at all. Simply put, prayer is a direct and personal conversation with God. It can include rituals, memorized phrases, and deep meditation. Prayer can be silent, expressed with shouts of exuberant joy or heavy sobs of tears. In prayer, we express our dependence on God, submit to his leading, confess our sins, thank him for his grace, and share with him our needs and the needs of others.

As a Christian, I lean into the truth of God’s Word to discover prayer's importance. Three verses, in particular, speak to the importance of prayer in our relationship with God:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God (Philippians 4:6).

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth (Psalm 145:18).

Can I talk to God?

We can talk to God anytime because he initiated relationship and conversation with us first. In the Garden of Eden, God spoke first. Immediately after Adam and Eve’s sin, God called to them, "Where are you?" (Genesis 3:8-9). Rather than shunning Adam and Eve, God reached out first. He loves his children and values communication. Even while their sin put distance between them and God, God showed his great love to Adam and Eve and communicated back a great promise of restoration (Genesis 3:15).

We can be confident that God is listening because of Jesus's sacrifice on our behalf. Jesus bridged the gap between us and God, allowing us to come directly into God’s presence and share with him all that is in our hearts. We do not have to feel hesitant or unworthy; God welcomes us and loves to listen to his children pray.

Here are a few verses that affirm for us that we can talk to God and that he listens and always answers:

Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need (Hebrews 4:16).

Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you (Jeremiah 29:12).

In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears. (Psalm 18:6).

If you are wondering, “Does God really listen to me?” The answer is YES! You can speak to God with confidence. No special words or particular incantations are required; just simply share your heart with God. He is listening to you. (If you want to read more about this, check out Does God Really Listen to Me?)

What should I say to God?

When we come to God with a humble heart and open to his leading, there is no wrong way to pray. But sometimes, it’s hard to know where to start (read Is There a Right Way to Pray?). When I am unsure of how to start a prayer or what to pray for, I use the prayer that Jesus taught to his disciples: The Lord's Prayer. This prayer shows us how to talk to God (Matthew 6:9-13).

Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name – We start by praising God and acknowledging his greatness and his roles as our perfect parent, who knows us better than we know ourselves.

Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven – These words proclaim that God’s wisdom is always at work, even when life feels chaotic. Speaking them, we come to God in humility, obedience, and faith.

Give us this day our daily bread – Here, we ask God to give us what we need each day, trusting in his perfect love to provide for us.

And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors – We confess sin and ask God to help us forgive others.

And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one – We ask God to help us make good choices, protect us from harm, and to reject the lies that tell us we are unloved or unforgiven.

For yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever" – While some Bible translations, like the New International Version (NIV), do not include this phrase, many Christians continue to use the traditional ending of the Lord’s Prayer from the King James Version (KJV). Just as the prayer begins with praise, it ends with praise, declaring that all power and glory belongs to God forever.

Prayer is an honest and humble conversation with God that doesn't need to be complicated. I often think about that bedtime conversation with my niece about prayer and remember that prayer is vital to our relationship with God. Prayer helps us find peace, seek guidance, and share our hopes, worries, and fears. In some mysterious way, even though we cannot see, hear, or touch God, prayer helps us feel close to him. Through prayer, we speak to God, grow in faith, and trust that he is always listening, caring, and responding.