I frequently encounter people who struggle with big questions about prayer. Recently, I had a great discussion with a college student, a young man who had been a Christian for most of his life. Even with a solid faith reinforced by a strong foundation of Bible knowledge and Christian education, he came to me with an honest and vulnerable confession: “I don't understand why we pray because we can't change God’s mind. I wonder if prayer is pointless.”

This admission really struck me. I, too, have been a follower of Jesus my whole life. I have extensive biblical and theological training. Even though I serve as the coordinator of the ReFrame Prayer Team, I sometimes struggle with praying, particularly when God seems painfully distant and silent.

Have you ever wondered if prayer is pointless?

Prayer in the Bible

In seasons of profound loss, pain, and crisis, when faithful prayers don't seem to change the situation, circumstances, or timeline, we’re often left wondering: are our prayers pointless? The answer is no; prayer always has immense value. The Bible contains many references about the necessity and importance of prayer. The apostle Paul commands us to "pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people" (Ephesians 6:18). In addition, he tells Christians to "devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful" (Colossians 4:2). Prayer is so important, Jesus himself taught us how to pray with the Lord’s Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13 and Luke 11:2-4).

God always answers

Even while God encourages us to make requests of him (Matthew 7:7 and John 14:13-14), prayer is so much more than sharing a long list of needs or wants and trying to convince God to do certain things for us. Prayer creates an intimate, relational connection with God. We pour out our hearts, knowing that he listens. Sometimes we witness miracles and get an answer from God that is exactly what we want. Those moments can deepen our faith and make it easier to pray.

But sometimes we pray with confidence for very good things like healing from illness, restoration of broken relationships, or financial security—and we don’t see those prayers answered (for more on this, see Why isn't God Answering my Prayer?). When our earnest prayers don’t turn out the way we want, we might assume that God isn't listening and doesn't care. Our trust in God through prayer is fleeting and shallow when we put all of our trust in the answers we want rather than God and his plans for our lives. Remember this truth from his Word; God always answers your prayers according to his will: “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him” (1 John 5:14-15). God’s answers to our prayers may come in different forms. Sometimes it's "yes," other times it's "no," and still other times it's "wait." While this doesn't make the pain of loss and waiting hurt any less, prayer expresses our trust in God's grace even when it hurts (Psalm 34:18).

Conversation and connection

In this light, think about prayer as more than just asking for what you need or want and instead, see it as an intimate conversation with God. It is an outworking of our faith in God’s perfect love, acceptance, and plan for us. This action of faith is foundational in our relationship with God. Just as communication is essential for the health of any human relationship, so also prayer—how we communicate with God—is essential in building our relationship with him. You don’t need to speak special words or have fancy training. You don't have to act a certain way or have your life all put together. Just talk to God in faith. He’s listening.

Five functions of prayer

So why should we pray? While there are many benefits of prayer, I want to share five functions of prayer from the Bible with you:

• Sharing gratitude and praise: "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you" (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

• Confessing sin: "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9).

• Finding peace: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God" (Philippians 4:6).

• Seeking guidance: "Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart" (Jeremiah 29:12-13) and "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God" (Romans 8:26-27).

• Praying for others: "I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people" (1 Timothy 2:1).

Ultimately, prayer is not about saying just the right words or going on and on to cajole or manipulate God into giving us exactly what we want. Instead, prayer is about our relationship with him. Prayer strengthens our faith, aligns us to God’s will, transforms our hearts, provides a space to confess sin, expresses our dependence on him, and allows us to intercede for others. By trusting in God, who knows all, loves us, and has a perfect plan, we find peace and assurance as we walk through difficult seasons and loss. So, let’s continue to pray, knowing that our prayers are not pointless but powerful, bringing us closer to the heart of our loving and compassionate God.

For more about prayer, check out these resources the ReFrame Prayer Ministry and our sister programs at ReFrame Ministries:

We invite you to check out our free ebook, “How Do I Pray?” We also encourage you to explore the prayer resources on our website.

The Problem with Prayer is an episode from Groundwork answering basic questions about prayer. How does prayer work? Does it make a difference? Why should we pray for things to happen if God already knows what's going to happen?

Faith Practices for Families: Prayer is an ebook from Kids Corner. Explore the why, when, and how to pray with your family. We hope these resources will add to your daily prayer practice and inspire you and your family to draw near to God.